gntbldr
06-14-2004, 11:22 PM
Chinese Torture
A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a
small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient
Chinese man with along, gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man.
"Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you
so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the
three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old
as well, and entered the house. Before dinner the daughter came
down the stairs.
She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic figure. She was
obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes
off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed
alone. But during the night he could bear it no longer and snuck
into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep
everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he
crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a
large rock on his chest with a note on it that read,
"Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty
crappy,"he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then
I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up,
walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did
so he noticed another note on it that read
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he
glanced down and saw the line that was already getting close to
taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration,
he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted
downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read,
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost_
A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a
small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient
Chinese man with along, gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man.
"Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you
so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the
three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old
as well, and entered the house. Before dinner the daughter came
down the stairs.
She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic figure. She was
obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes
off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed
alone. But during the night he could bear it no longer and snuck
into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep
everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he
crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a
large rock on his chest with a note on it that read,
"Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty
crappy,"he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then
I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up,
walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did
so he noticed another note on it that read
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he
glanced down and saw the line that was already getting close to
taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration,
he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted
downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read,
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost_