7 SHADES OF BLONDES

1st Shade:

A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the
morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone, listened a
moment,
and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast
is clear'."

2nd Shade:

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
pavement and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror,and says, "Hmm, this person looks
familiar."

She hands it to the second blonde.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

3rd Shade:

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun . She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
the
door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, ! the blonde is
really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,
she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

4th Shade:

A blonde brags about her knowledge of American state capitals. She
proudly
says, "Go ahead; ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy... it's W!"

5th Shade:

Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant?
A: "How can I be sure it's mine?"

6th Shade:

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
she
managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch..

"Wow!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was
trampled on by an elephant! Are you OK, ma'am?"
"Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he
surveyed
the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was
driving
along this road, when from out of nowhere this tree popped up in front
of
me, so I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to
the
left and there was another tree! I swerved to the right and there
was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."

"Uh, madam," the officer said, cutting her off as he looked inside the
car,
"There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your
air-freshener
swinging back and forth."

7th Shade:

Returning home from work, a blonde was astonished to see that she had
been
robbed. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The
police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit
patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
blonde
ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog,
and
then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my
possessions stolen! I call the police for help, and what do they
do? They
send me a BLIND policeman!