gntbldr
08-23-2004, 06:12 PM
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color
of
happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The
child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom
wearing black?"
##############
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she
could,
trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let
me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb
and
fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up,
brushed
herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began
to pray,
"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me
either!"
###############
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no
male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she
wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them
to take
me out when I'm dead.
##############
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you
had to
arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
##############
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
with
them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby
sitter."
##############
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father
and thy
mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
our
brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered,
"Thou
shall not kill."
#############
At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything,
including
human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him
how Eve
was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother
noticed
him lying down as though he were ill, and
said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have
pain in
my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
#############
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong
preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about
all this
Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus
turned
out. It's probably just your Dad.
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color
of
happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The
child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom
wearing black?"
##############
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she
could,
trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let
me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb
and
fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up,
brushed
herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began
to pray,
"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me
either!"
###############
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no
male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she
wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them
to take
me out when I'm dead.
##############
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you
had to
arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
##############
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
with
them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby
sitter."
##############
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father
and thy
mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
our
brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered,
"Thou
shall not kill."
#############
At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything,
including
human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him
how Eve
was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother
noticed
him lying down as though he were ill, and
said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have
pain in
my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
#############
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong
preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about
all this
Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus
turned
out. It's probably just your Dad.